New Addition

VIVIAN GRAY

BORN 9:50 pm June 22nd

AT 7lbs 14oz, 20 inches

Meet Vivian Gray, the newest addition to our small family. Sweet Vivian was due on June 21st, my father's birthday. Even though I knew it was unlikely she would be born that day, it was disappointing to see the minutes and hours tick by and the day come to a close without her here. And yet, I'm glad that Vivian came at her own time.  Just as we passed into a new day, I started having contractions and by 9:50 that evening Vivian took her first breath of air. Vivian has her own birthday now, just one day after her grandfather's.

The last two weeks has been a series of adjustments for us all. The world is so fresh and new for Viv and I have learned to respect that there's still so much that she's taking in and that process can be overwhelming. It's hard to decipher her needs and moods, but I'm hoping we'll get there eventually.

So far what I've learned about Viv

Things Vivian Loves:

her dad (photo evidence above)

her crocheted bear (made by her dad)

black and white contrast images

tummy time

long car rides

Things Vivian Hates:

her diaper changed

people messing with her arms

hiccups

being swaddled

being put in her car seat

Week 38

Right now, right this very minute as I write this, I'm 38 weeks and 3 days pregnant. The day additions, those fragments of time that seemed so meaningless in the calculation of pregnancy, now feel heavy and weighted. There's only 11 days left until my due date, and yet that feels so very far from now. Yet I want to make it there, I want to have this baby on my father's birthday.

I've fallen silent on this blog, which happens any time I need to turn inward and take care of myself. The shop was pretty quiet with updates as well in the last few months as I took that space to look after my students, those bravely quiet ones who are trying to sort it all out. But now I'm slowly making my way back. The store is filling up with stock, this blog post is being written, and somewhere poetry is finding its way to the page as well.

Pregnancy has not been a comfortable fit for me. I don't like being pregnant and I don't like many of the "typical" aspects of pregnancy that most people tell women they should enjoy. Unfortunately, expressing any displeasure with pregnancy as a whole reads to many as a sign of "bad mothering." You'll be a "bad mother" if you don't like feeling your baby move.  You'll be a "bad mother" if you don't gush about pregnancy.  The burden we place on women to experience pregnancy and parenting a certain way is limiting and damaging.  This, along with the physical discomforts of pregnancy, is what I've been struggling with personally in this space of silence I've created.

I'll probably write more on this, either here or elsewhere, and build tiny poems dedicated to what this feels like. But none to fear, this blog is intended to explore vintage clothing and integrating it into your life and it will continue to do so directly or tangentially.  Tomorrow, expect to see a post about our support of a local CSA or as some call it a farm share. I'll be driving out weekly to collect fresh vegetables and plan on documenting it here because I see its connection to participating in sustainability.

Week 17

  

Outfit consists of:

Necklace: 1940s book locket found at Jean Jean Vintage

Sweater: acrylic sweater from Romeo & Juliet Couture found at TJ Maxx

Shirt: gray tee found at TJ Maxx

Jeans: dark wash skinny jeans from Domaine found at TJ Maxx

Boots: brown A2 by Aerosoles boots found at Kohls

Week 17 of this pregnancy and I'm frustrated. In my real life, my husband kindly calls me militant about my political views (but I emphasize I don't bring this into my classrooms) so it's no wonder that larger scale issues associated with pregnancy and parenting have more than set me on edge.  I've been lumping these issues together into a category I call the politics of pregnacy, but they really touch on issues of social, political, and medical views of pregnancy and parenting.

What exactly has me angry? Well the issues are broad, but they really boil down to the core issue of how the female body in general, but specifically in relation to child having and raising, becomes public.  In crafting the female body as a publicly accessible entity, women are constantly bombarded by social, political, and medical controls. Already during this pregnancy I've questioned fear-based medical practices associated with prenatal care, the invasion of personal space by strangers while pregnant, and the near constant litany of advice-forcing by every person you've ever known. The last one is yes, a bit tricky, but there's a marked difference between "Hey have you tried this? It worked for me and it may help!" and "You have to do this." or "You absolutely cannot do that."

There's been a few heated and lively discussions on my personal Facebook page about these issues and I've really wanted to have a forum in which to continue them and engage with a broader audience.  I debated starting up a new blog specifically devoted to it, but I barely have time to keep up with one blog. I've also debated writing a series of essays, and I may still do this, but I'm hoping this sporadic series of posts will start as a proving ground for my ideas and concerns. 

Least you be concerned that a vintage clothing blog will devolve into heated political debate, I doubt you need to worry.  I intend for these posts to be infrequent, perhaps once or twice a month to start and if they prove successful I'll schedule a day for them.  What does it actually mean in terms of content, well I'm hoping you'll help with some ideas.  To begin with some topic ideas I've been thinking over, I've come up with:

1. Why has there been a shift in the American medical system wherein pregnancy information relies on fear (food lists, habits that will harm you and your fetus) rather than relaying health and wellness empowering practices? What can I do about this?

2.  What is it about pregnancy that allows for strangers to feel the need to monitor and approve your individual behaviors? How do I get people to mind their own business?

3. How do I raise a child without gendered stereotypes or hetero-normative expectations of love and relationships?

So ladies (and gents if you're reading!) what about pregnancy and parenting have you struggled with?

Announcement!

I'm (finally) ready to announce some really big news. My husband and I are having a baby! Well, mostly I'm having a baby, but he's been pretty awesome in looking after us along the way.

Today I am officially 16 weeks, which places me very firmly in the second trimester and I have to say that things are finally looking up.  My absence from the blog? Well, the first trimester was pretty rough. I won't say it was the worst, but it wasn't all that pleasant.  It seems every pregnant and formerly pregnant woman regaled me with horror stories of their own experiences and in comparison I felt kind of wimpy, but I was perfectly fine with that. In the end, I simply tried to make sure I had enough energy to wrangle classes full of college students and stay on top of grading their assignments which meant it was necessary to reduce my efforts elsewhere.

But for now, baby, husband, and I are doing well.  Little baby chickadee has an official due date of June 21st which happens to be my dad's birthday. In one of our last conversations, I asked him to please pick out some good kids for me, and I really believe he has.